Self Doubt

Today, well yesterday, was my first vocal lesson. At least in my mind I haven't experienced anything like it. However I'm very disappointed in myself because I feel like I could have done better or could have had more faith in myself. Self doubt is a bitchhh. Makes me feel like I couldn't do something I know I could. So I've been sitting here trying to figure out if it was just me or if I'm even ready to take this step. I know I can it just makes things that much harder because I'm a perfectionist and when I feel like I didn't do my best or try my best I kind of close up from the world and go back into my shell. Especially when I get nervous, I may poke my head out a little but soon as I feel like I go too far, I'm so quick to rush back in that shell and not face it anymore. I don't know why I get like that sometimes, because there have been many other times where I've performed, but it hasn't been on this level. I just feel like I'm very secretive and so afraid of criticism that I let it get the best of me and not allow me to do the absolute best that I know I can. I have to break this habit though because if I don't I wont ever get anywhere. At least I know what I have to work on whereas there are other people who still haven't figured it out. On another note, Daryl ( Vocal Coach) was really cool. I was still warming up to him though so I can't say I got the whole experience yet. I don't know what the future holds for me, I just hope by next Wednesday the same fears from this week aren't there.